raspberry truffles

Happy new year!

2007-01-09T23:20:00.000-05:00

Yes...a little belated, but Happy New Year anyway! Was it really November the last time I posted? Not to mention the last time I updated The Last Night of the World. Time has really flown.

Haven't done too much with Last Night...actually, that's not entirely true. I have worked some on the next chapter, but then I became busy with work and then I discovered Secret of Mana (Seiken Densetsu 2) and Seiken Densetsu 3, which was never released in the U.S. (but fan-translated ROMs are available). Like the Final Fantasy series, SD is a series of RPGs that actually have nothing in common with each other except for aspects of gameplay and some of the basis for plot. Both series are made by Squaresoft, by the way, which may have something to do with it.

The graphics in are nothing fantastic, especially by today's standards, but that's not unexpected since it came out in the 1990s. I don't know, I'm a sucker for classics, and Square seemed to produce better storylines in the older games, in my opinion. The gameplay is kind of fun, but it would be even more fun if someone could make an anime out of the RPGs I play. I prefer to watch rather than play ;) (I could really do without the leveling up and fighting enemies every step of the way.) But in any case, I liked SD3 better than SD2. The story is better, the characters more developed, and it's a choose-your-own-adventure: you pick your main character from a selection of six different choices, and who you choose determines the plot. The music is also pretty good. I've described SD3 as "cute," but that might not be the right word. I'd say it has a lot of charm. The same way I was charmed by Final Fantasy 9.

So I've been bad...instead of working on Last Night, I started a fic about SD3. A novelization, actually, and I NEVER thought I would do something like a novelization. I mean, how boring would that be? But SD3's story gives you a LOT of room to develop the characters, and I am only using the game's plot as a rough guide. Mwahahaha! Look out! I've only written one chapter so far, and it starts out from the perspective of Hawk, a member of a thieves' guild who is...well, I won't give it away ;) If you get bored and want to read the fic, it's called Tremors of Fate and I've published it on my ff.net account. Why Hawk? Because he's so damn cool and the best character by far.

Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about Last Night. It's been a while since I last looked at it, but I think I needed a break anyway. And when I haven't looked at something in a long time, that's when inspiration is at its most brilliant. For me, at least. I have also been totally slacking in commenting on my Esca buddies' blogs--sorry!! I am such a slacker. I will try to be better ^_^

More random thoughts

2006-11-28T21:54:00.000-05:00

Today, one of the thoughts that has been passing through my head is starting an AU Escaflowne fic. Like I don't already have enough on my plate with The Last Night of the World. Right. Anyway, it would take place in modern day, with Van and Hitomi from very different walks of life. Which walks exactly, I don't know. Unique circumstances would bring them together, and they would be inextricably involved in each other's lives. From then on, every few chapters would be an episode of their many escapades. It would be like an ongoing serial, with no real ending intended, but I might be able to conjure one up. And somehow the other characters would come in at some point. Will I ever start writing it? That question will probably be answered when I near the end of Last Night.

The other thing I was thinking about was Van and how he's drawn as a more feminine boy than the other Escaflowne characters. This was prompted by Jomiel's recent post about doujinshi. The eyelashes and the large eyes are what make him more girly, I think. The hair less so, because of Allen and his flowing blond hair. I'm not sure how much the producers actually intended Van to appear more feminine. It seems that feminine-appearing guys are considered attractive in Asia, so that may be part of it. But also, when I think about it, Van is the only male character (aside from Chid) who is not considered to be "grown up." He and Chid are the only real kids, whereas Allen, Dryden, and all the other men are already beyond their childhoods. So I'm thinking the large eyes are an indication of youth more than anything.

Here is Van saying, "Stop calling me girly!"

Folken's vision

2006-10-31T13:18:00.000-05:00

(Sorry about being delinquent about posting and responding to comments. It's been busy o_o)

In rewatching the later episodes, when Folken sides with Asturia, I've realized that I was wrong about what his motivations were. I used to think he joined the "good guys" because he was disillusioned by how the Emperor treated life so insignificantly - namely, the deaths of Naria and Eriya. But there's more. Folken still shared the Emperor's goal of bringing peace to Gaea through manipulating fate, except he wanted to do it his way. The only difference was that he disagreed with the Emperor's methods. So his objective was to take down Zaibach and the Emperor, and then what? Use the Power Spot himself? Shape Gaea's future according to his vision? While his vision may be more benign than the Emperor's had been, would Gaea's fate controlled by Folken's hand really be any better than by Dornkirk's? If Folken had survived the encounter with Dornkirk, would his thinking have eventually changed? Or would he have continued with his course to become another fearsome tyrant, proving that Van's suspicions were right?

Although Folken's methods and goals may have been benevolent, no one likes to have their destiny controlled by someone else. There is no substitute for freedom of choice, even if it means an uncertain fate. When I realized what Folken's true motivations were, his character became much more ominous. The force that drove him to join Zaibach was strong, and he was not going to completely change overnight just because of the deaths of two friends. In the end, Van's suspicions about him may have been right, after all.

In any case, Folken really is a fantastic character. A lot of my favorite scenes involve him. The screencaps are taken from episode 22, "The Black-Winged Angel," when he saves Hitomi from the land dragon in the ruins of Fanelia. Now that I've figured out how to make screencaps, I'm having so much fun :)

Deep in thought

2006-10-23T18:56:00.000-05:00

Finally, the first draft of Chapter 13 is finished! I've chosen to name it after Basram's capital, Chavant. (Yes, I know, how creative.) But "Dragon's Heart" seemed much more appropriate for the next chapter. Now I await the judgment of my sister and Jomiel.

Instead of a sentence today, I'll leave you with a screenshot that represents Van's state of mind in his part of the chapter. It's from episode 6, and the context is very fitting--he is reflecting on his first meeting with Folken.

A new look

2006-10-16T20:02:00.000-05:00

If you're wondering why I'm changing my template again, it's not because I didn't like the last one. I loved the last one, in fact, but Firefox doesn't like it. So, since I and most of the world uses Firefox, I went hunting for a new one that was more Firefox-friendly. I came across a site called Blogger Templates, which has a very nice (albeit small) selection of templates.

"Foliage" looked pretty awesome, so I settled on that one. However, it's one-column only, so I was rather disgruntled at the lack of a sidebar. Until I looked at the HTML. There was code for sidebar stuff, like profile links, archive, etc, but Jomiel and I could not find it anywhere on the page!

But today, I figured out the answer to the mystery: you need to click on the tag that says "pull" at the top of the page.

Cute, huh? A little too cute, perhaps. But I can live with it. I'll leave clear directions in the footnote at the bottom of the page so future readers won't get too confused.

The moral of the story?

PULL!!

Edit: For best results, view this page with Firefox version 1.5 or later.

Episode 24

2006-10-10T23:33:00.000-05:00

I rarely have a favorite anything, so it's really saying something when I tell people my favorite anime is Escaflowne. It's even rarer for me to have a favorite episode or scene, but I have to say the scene I love the most is in episode 24, "Fateful Decision." It happens about halfway through, when Hitomi is drawn to her stack of tarot cards and realizes how strongly she feels about Van.

The music playing during that scene is the beginning of "Arcadia" on the OST. It fits so well with the mood.

I really like this shot:

It so strongly captures her uncertainty about returning to the world that both moves her and frightens her.

The craving!

2006-10-05T23:15:00.000-05:00

I want to write more! But things like the need for sleep and having to work tomorrow keep me from it. :'-(

Having an easier schedule lets me think about my fic more, and talking to Jomiel again about Escaflowne (and Van, of course) has rekindled my creative spirit. My life seems to consist of going on binges - either I goof off a lot and cram in all the socializing or writing that I can, or I bury myself with work. The writing is on an upswing right now, but I think it's going to hit its peak soon and I feel another work-binge coming on in the near future.

More than anything, though, I want to share another sentence with you, because I'm really excited about this next chapter :)

If Hitomi hadn’t known better, she would have thought Van was the two women’s object of affection, his attention captured by the princess and Merle hanging on jealously.

Rituals and Legends

2006-10-03T23:16:00.000-05:00

That pretty much sums up Chapter 13 in three words. More legend than ritual, but I get the feeling that ritual is going to be very important in Basram for many reasons. Also more Van thoughts, hopefully! Chapter 13 also has a title: Dragon's Heart.

Now it's time to whine. When it comes to fabricating rituals that are steeped in religion or tradition, it's always difficult for me to imagine what they would be like. What would be interesting and different to the reader? It's not even all that interesting to me, so it's hard to imagine what it would be like to read what I write. I'm not sure how to make it interesting, either. Perhaps detailed development of the country's folklore and customs? Inventing a culture is just as difficult as inventing a character, both of which are rather tall orders.

I think this is one of those points that separates the professional from the amateur, genius from run-of-the-mill writing. There needs to be attention to detail to make the reader feel that he has just walked into a world that is as enthralling as it is ordinary. It is the details that give a character different dimensions, a life story behind each person that may be largely untold except in a few illuminating moments. Attention to detail and the subtle handling of such is what makes the differences in character voice so wonderful.

Of course, imagination is the other side of the coin. I always thought it was a granted fact in everyone who attempts to write fiction, but now I am realizing that it takes some patience--and help--as well. The patience to find inspiration when I'm stuck, to wait it out as events and situations unfold in my head.

Ok, I've only got 1.5 pages of Chapter 13 written, so the best sentence of the day isn't all that great, but here it is:

The townspeople looked up as the carriage passed by, as though the newcomers, decked in their heavy grays and blues, brought the chill breath of winter with them.

Arithmetic

2006-10-01T20:30:00.000-05:00

Lots of time at the airport + not needing to work + not wanting to study = Brainstorming

I never handwrite anything, but I didn't have a choice. When I was done, I ended up with 3.5 pages of ideas about stories behind the destruction of Atlantis, how the first king of Fanelia (I forget his name) rose to the throne, and subsequently a much tighter and cohesive plot leading up to the conclusion of my fic. Woohoo! It was a much-needed creative release for my brain that it hasn't seen since I posted my last entry. (Was it really a month ago?)

I'm really excited because everything connects to everything else in different ways. Now the only thing I have to do is get my notes onto the computer in the form of something that actually makes sense. Sometime this month, I hope....

Figuring it out

2006-08-31T19:12:00.000-05:00

Ok...I ended up writing something, but it's not Escaflowne. Just a little idea that came to mind as I was doing my laundry (of all things!) today. I'm working all the time, so I don't really have the time or energy to involve myself in Chapter 13 just yet. But I had to write something! So here goes:

Two people, a young man and woman in their mid-twenties or so, are sitting next to each other in the corner of the coffeeshop, their table facing the window overlooking the street. The sky is cold but the steam rising from their mugs is warm. They are friends, but the warmth between them is more than just the coffee and the soft glow of wooden tables and countertops. The afternoon passes by as conversation moves from the inconsequential to things held in confidence to the deeper parts where they never really meant to tread.

And, given enough time, the conversation invariably turns to the topic of men and women and the joining of the two.

"I don't see myself ever getting married," she says.

He raises a skeptical eyebrow. "Really? Why not?"

She shrugs and stirs her latte with a thin wooden stick, watching the white swirling in the dark mocha. She is hunched over the mug as if the window between her and the snow-laden wind outside does not exist. "I feel like I know other people a lot better than they know me. I think I'm hard to figure out."

He notices how carefully she averts her eyes, but he also notices that they are sitting so close that his windbreaker jacket rustles against the wool of her coat whenever he moves his arm. He also remembers how she fell asleep on his shoulder while waiting for the late crosstown bus to take them home from his co-worker's party. And how, when the bus finally came, she woke up and muttered a groggy apology, the complete absence of any awkwardness between them more telling than the voyeuristic eye of the teenage girl sitting on the next bench over. "Is that a problem?" he asks.

She looks at him askew, as if he just said something unfathomably stupid. "Of course it's a problem. It would take ages for him to get to know me, like really know me, because no one really knows me all that well, except maybe my sister. They think they do, but they really don't. And by the time he knows who I really am, I'll be an old hag ready to croak. Who'll want to marry me then?"

Her insecurity is so obvious and endearing that he smiles inwardly. He considers cracking a joke but then thinks twice about it. She's serious enough that she might not appreciate his facetious comments right now. So instead, he says, very seriously, "But I think that's true for a lot of people. Not just you."

She makes a face. It's not the response she was hoping to hear, but she presses on. "I still think I'm hard to figure out, harder to figure out than most people. I mean, I can barely figure me out."

"I think I can figure you out."

The hand stirring the coffee goes still. The air is suddenly thick. He says it so simply, so matter-of-fact. She looks at him obtusely, around the hair falling down the side of her face, as if confronting him would shatter whatever equanimity remained. "You really think so?"

But he, on the other hand, is unabashed in looking at her. "Yeah. Maybe," he says.

She laughs, though not unkindly, a feathery breath of air, and ducks her head. The coffeeshop is only a blur of color, now, and the hum of people barely reaches her ears. "I'd like to see you try," she challenges him, half-playfully.

He is unfazed. "I will, if you'll let me."

He holds her gaze, but when he does not move, she realizes he is waiting for her. She hooks her hand around his elbow, and he slides his arm back until their hands are touching. Their fingers entwine for the first time, but it's as if it was the fifth or sixth time or even more. She leans her head on his shoulder, like the time at the bus stop, coming to rest at last.

Loneliness

2006-08-22T19:46:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking. In my fic, Hitomi is frequently feeling alone or isolated. Millerna does, too, although to a lesser degree, and I haven't delved into that issue as much with her. The themes of loneliness and isolation are probably in my fic because these feelings become more and more prevalent as I continue with my adult life. And when they are unmasked by stress and fatigue, they are even more biting.

This train of thought came about when I was pondering the next chapter today. I haven't done a lick of writing since chapter 12. So no sentence today. But I am starting to think about chapter 13!

Breakfast at Tiffany's

2006-08-09T21:30:00.000-05:00

Reading Truman Capote's Breakfast at Tiffany's this week. It's quite good, rather poignant. While I was reading today, this line stuck out to me because of its beautiful imagery:

...the wind still boomed, though the rain had hushed and there were bursts of blue in the sky.

Looking up

2006-07-30T13:24:00.000-05:00

If I sounded crabby in my last entry, that's because I just started a new part of my job with a system that is less efficient and with different computers. I've been working a lot, too, so much that I'm thinking about work even when I'm at home in bed and dreaming about it. Somebody stop me! =P

Anyway, I'm getting more used to it and hopefully will be less stressed in the future. I started working on Chapter 12 again, which I'm going to call "Broken Faces," instead of working on my favorite scene from Chapter 14 all the time. It's time to stop procrastinating and get a move on!

I love the track "Arcadia" from the OST. It's so wistful. It's the music that plays in the scene in ep 24, when Hitomi sees the tarot cards in her room at home and thinks of Van. One of my favorite scenes =)

I'm going to be a cheater with the sentence of the day and take one from yesterday:

What was supposed to be a bright and happy time in her life had been cut short by the hauntings of her past.

Doubt

2006-07-26T22:39:00.000-05:00

Some days I wonder if my writing can hack it. Today is one of those days. What's the problem? My writing is too polished, and therefore lacks emotion. Or maybe it's the other way around. Or maybe because today is a comfort food day.

When I think about it, what emotions do I have on a daily basis? Laziness (not really an emotion), sarcasm, and....? My best writing comes when I am pressed for a deadline (like school or work) and sometimes when I am tired. Probably because emotion is strongest then, and the barrier to expression is thinnest. Haha, maybe that means my writing will be better in the next few months :p

Yeah, it's definitely a comfort food day.

Thinking outside the box

2006-07-21T16:21:00.000-05:00

Some of the stories I find most intriguing are the ones where I keep asking, "How is this going to end?" For example, when the main character must choose between his own desires and doing what is right. Terribly broad, I know, so here's an example: Neo at the end of the third Matrix movie. Trinity vs saving the world. We all know he's a good guy, but there's no way he's going to give up on Trinity. Or Full Metal Alchemist, where the two main characters try to correct a mistake they made by taking the only option available to them: to make the same mistake again, which can only have dreadful consequences.

Hitomi has love in two worlds, but responsibility in only one. How is this going to end?

Haha, ok I flatter myself by calling my story intriguing. But it is intriguing to me in some ways. It lets an amateur like me go through the thought process that people go through when they create great stories. The idea of being pigeonholed and being forced to find a way to get around it, to go beyond choice vs. no choice, appeals to me. Personally, I dislike being backed into a corner by someone saying, "Ok, you can only pick A or B, even though neither is really all that great." Well, that just spurs on the devious side of me and if I feel strongly enough about it, I'll do my darnedest to come up with option C or L or Z.

I was going to say something more, but my brain has been squeezed dry by now. So I leave you with the sentence of the day:

Her grandfather had been an avid collector of the pieces of Japanese history that had been left by the wayside of the ages.

Oh, yeah....I have a forum for The Last Night of the World now! It'll be a place for comments and discussion and questions about the fic. If anyone has any, that is :P

Creepy Sentence of the Day

2006-07-19T00:54:00.000-05:00

Instead of the best sentence of the day, I bring you the creepy sentence of the day! Because Celena is creepy.

Now, despite her placidity, it was only a matter of time before her porcelain face cracked again and the monster came crawling out.

You know, I've realized that I have best paragraphs or collections of sentences more often than a single best sentence.

I should really go to bed...

The Eleventh Hour

2006-07-14T00:15:00.000-05:00

Such a cool-sounding title, isn't it? It's the title of the latest (I think) CD by one of my favorite bands, Jars of Clay. "The Eleventh Hour" sounds so dramatic and momentous. Maybe I should gank it for one of my chapter titles ;) Nah, not really....I don't think it'll fit in well with the personality of the story. I could see it being a chapter title in a film noir or murder mystery. But not an action/adventure-fate-of-the-world-hangs-in-the-balance story. That would be overdoing it, I think. You gotta strike a balance. It's all about balance!

I think I started out wanting to talk about something else. Hrm. Well, I can't remember, so I'll leave you with a few sentences that I wrote two days ago. I've been working for the last day and a half, so I haven't had time to do much in the way of writing, and I've been tired besides. These sentences are from Chapter 14, so a ways down the road. They don't give anything away, and I don't know if they'll actually make it into the final draft, but I like them, so I'm going to share ^_^

[Her cloak] fluttered away, flowing and undulating in the wind. Hitomi wondered if that was how she would look if she fell off, the currents parachuting her skirts and tossing her about until she finally hit the ground.

HTML-challenged

2006-07-09T11:55:00.000-05:00

I managed to change my profile display name to "chocolatelova." Now I want to do the same with my comments and my posts, so they read as "chocolatelova" instead of "krazydoc." But I can't figure it out with my limited html skills. Anyone got any tips?

Ok, best sentence so far for today:

The mild spring day as he stood in front of her headstone would remain in his memory forever, the forget-me-nots in his hand wilting in the rain-kissed air.

Naming

2006-07-07T12:28:00.000-05:00

I am virtually finished with writing Chapter 11, but I still haven't named it. It's so sad....it feels like I've given birth to a child with no name. I feel like such a bad mother. T_T

And now for the best sentence of the day:

He hungered for food and information, and occasionally he would encounter a kind merchant who provided him with both.

I actually had a best paragraph of the day, but that would be cheating, wouldn't it? ;)

Choices

2006-07-06T15:29:00.000-05:00

Life is about choices. Some of them are easy, and some are hard. Sometimes there is no choice at all.

I'm starting to find that people's inner struggles and the choices they are forced to make are what drive my writing. Not all the time, but those tend to be the pieces I like best. The Last Night of the World is a prime example of this. The problem is classic: which man and which world to choose? By this point in the story, Hitomi has already made her decision, but as the plot progresses, the answer becomes less and less obvious. Then there comes a point when it's no longer a matter of choosing one or the other, but about realizing where she stands.

(Hmm....self-actualization seems to be a common theme of mine, too...)

This story has probably been told many times over. But it hasn't been told my way yet ;)

Today's best sentence:

His high-necked coat of thick Fanelian wool was the only reason why Wellyn wasn’t shivering like the Asturian nobles in their jackets—adorned with tassels and embroidery—that passed for winter coats.

Chapter 11

2006-07-03T18:56:00.000-05:00

After taking a short break, I have started Chapter 11! Yay!

It starts out in Allen's point of view.

On second thought, in the picture in my previous entry, Van's pose seems more protective than anything. One of those accidentally intimate moments, maybe? (There are lot of those in the series! ^_^)

Now for today's best sentence(s):

When her eyes, blue as ice, warmed at the sight of him, he was home.

Wallpaper

2006-07-02T23:08:00.000-05:00

The other day, Jomiel sent me a bunch of fanart and pictures she capped from the series. I thought this one was particularly cute....everything about it is so Hitomi and Van, from the artwork down to their poses. I also love that there are many ways you can interpret what's going on. To me, it looks like they were about to kiss, but then Hitomi says, "Wait, Van, I think we're being watched," and Van says, "Really?" and turns around to look. Anyway, it's super cute and I've made it my desktop ^_^

The image was taken from otaku.com.

Books

2006-06-29T12:21:00.000-05:00

I went to Waldenbooks today to get Sophie's Choice. I also picked up Truman Capote's Breakfast at Tiffany's because it's so famous, and it sounds like it would be interesting. While I was there, I saw lots of other books I've been wanting to read at some point. Going to the bookstore is like going to the candy store: my eyes are bigger than my stomach, and I always end up buying more than I can possibly read. As a result, about one-third of my bookshelf in my apartment is unread. But one day, I hope, I will be able to read them all ^_^

For the best sentence of the day, I'm gonna cheat a little bit. I wrote this sentence yesterday, but I edited it today :P Chapter 10 is about ready to go live, anyway, so editing is about all I can do to it right now. Hopefully it'll be up before I go to bed tonight.

Resolve settled through her, a stone settling on the bottom of a lake.

Chapter titles and famous books

2006-06-28T22:41:00.000-05:00

I've finally been able to come up with a name for Chapter 10! I'm going to call it "Hitomi's Decision." Sounds rather momentous, doesn't it? The name reminded me of Sophie's Choice by William Styron. But there's no way my Chapter 10 could ever compare to a classic like that! I've never read it, but now I'm itching to go to the bookstore. Maybe I'll do that tomorrow. I've read his memoir of his experience with depression, Darkness Visible, and I really enjoyed it--his writing style is very rich--so I think I'll probably like Sophie's Choice. There are few things I love more than settling in with a good book.

In addition, good writing cannot come about without good reading. You can't write if you don't read. So hopefully reading some William Styron will make me a better writer, too ^_^

Best Sentence of the Day

2006-06-28T17:01:00.000-05:00

This is an idea I got from Best Sentence of the Day. It's a neat little blog, and a very cool idea. This is also a great way for me to continue procrastinating on my work :P

My best sentence of the day, from Chapter 10:

She thought she could help heal the wounds of the kingdom whose destiny had once been so entwined with her own.

Van and Hitomi

2006-06-27T11:31:00.000-05:00

Something I posted on my personal blog today:

All anyone really wants is to be known and to be loved for it. But can you be known and loved without knowing and loving first?

That thought can be related to Van and Hitomi, too. My sister and I have talked about them a lot (haha) and we've noticed that in the series, they are close to each other without needing to acknowledge it. What do I mean? For example, in your typical romance, one person worries about how much the other person cares for them, people say "I love you" or "I'll miss you" or work up the courage to confess their feelings. For Van and Hitomi, a lot of the communication is nonverbal, and they care for the other person without any expectations. The last one was what made their friendship--and eventually their love--so strong. It's one of the more romantic ways to fall in love, in my opinion ^_^

Elements of a Story 2

2006-06-25T18:16:00.000-05:00

Personification of inanimate objects and/or settings add effect to imagery.
Telling events out of sequence (in a way that makes sense) breaks up the monotony of linear storytelling.
Complicated relationships between characters need to be handled with care.
If you write something and feel like you need more space, you probably do.
Everything always turns out to be longer or takes more time than you expect -_-
Pay attention to the use of voice. Going from character-based perspective to impersonal narration can be jolting.

Hitomi's feelings

2006-06-25T16:52:00.000-05:00

The next chapter I am writing, Chapter 10, is mostly about Hitomi's feelings. She is feeling overwhelmed by all that's happened, and I as I write, I feel overwhelmed too =P Originally, I was going to have her thoughts and feelings be half of the chapter, and have some other stuff happen in the second half. But after talking to my lovely beta-readers, I think Hitomi will have a chapter all to herself.

Writing action is easy enough, in the sense that it doesn't take a whole lot of brainpower. Now that character relationships have become more complicated, the story becomes more challenging to write--but also more interesting. This is a chapter that I will need to spend a lot of time and thought on. There are two main storylines in my fic. One is about the natural (or unnatural) disasters, what is behind them, and how they can be stopped. The other is the more human and emotional storyline about Hitomi and her relationships to the people of Gaea, most notably Van. The disasters storyline is not hard to tell, because it's merely a description of events. However, developing and tying in the emotional storyline will be much tougher.

How well I execute this chapter (and the next one) will probably determine how well my fic turns out overall. After all, emotion is what's driving this fic and emotion is what the readers care about.

Random Thoughts

2006-06-23T18:38:00.000-05:00

One question I've gotten as I write this story is: Where is this going? Especially since I recently posted Chapter 9. Is what's going on really that confusing/unclear? Is that bad? I mean, I know exactly where this is going, though it won't be clear to the reader until we're almost at the end.

With regards to my long sentences, my sister suggested that I vary the sentence length. It's a tip she heard from someone somewhere. I'll try it out....but there needs to be a purpose behind messing around with sentence length. You can't just have short sentences for the heck of it :P

I've realized that the beginning of my story is really packed with a lot of action. Nine chapters covering the space of one week, and two days of that week are encompassed by four to five chapters each. That's a lot of stuff to be happening in one or two days! As a result, when things slow down, character development comes at me in a flood. Don't know if that's a good or bad thing. We'll see, I guess.

Beta-reading

2006-06-22T16:19:00.000-05:00

This is the first time I've really done any writing with other people critiquing (or beta-reading) my stuff. I used to write random things for the heck of it, and my sister would read them for fun. Then I started to write fanfiction, and she only really read it because I made her (she's younger than me, mwahahaha!). For the most part, she found it entertaining, but she thought fanfiction in general was kind of silly. I'll admit, I used to think that too--until I ran across a really good DBZ fic a few years ago. I'm guessing the reason she never really got into it was because I wrote about Final Fantasy IX and Full Metal Alchemist, both of which I like a lot more than she does.

Then I made her watch Escaflowne. I told her to read my fic, and she agreed because she wanted to know what happened after the series ended. After I told her to read it, I realized that I'd forgotten to tell her it wasn't finished yet ^^; LOL, oops! But after she read it, she pointed out places where Van and Hitomi were acting out of character, and she made some suggestions and we had many talks about the characters, especially Van ^_^ Wha-la, I had found myself a beta-reader!

And then I met Jomiel. We both love Escaflowne, Van, and talking about writing--the perfect combination ^_^ I've asked her to read some of my chapters before they went live, which she had graciously agreed to do. I'll probably be asking for more of her help in the future, too, but I won't subject her to the same degree of beta-reading as my sister =P

Anyway, my point is that with two different people reading my stuff, a lot of the things they like and notice are different as well. Though they both mentioned that I tend to write long sentences ;)

Descent of Madness (Chapter 9) was the first chapter that Jomiel and my sister read at the same time. My sister hated the way I originally ended it, and after grilling her, I finally figured out why--it was far too impersonal. But she really liked how I described the action from Van's point of view, instead of just describing what was happening. She likes reading Van's thoughts in general and keeps on telling me to write more of them =P Jomiel thought I needed shorter sentences for the action to flow better, and she really liked how the scene played out with Celena. She liked the way I ended the chapter in the new version, which made me happy because I was afraid it would sound corny or melodramatic O_O

It's pretty cool to receive so many different opinions, because each person has their own preferences and dislikes. Jomiel and my sister are really good at critiquing, too, because they focus on the important stuff and give suggestions on how to make it better, and in turn make me a better writer. If my fic turns out to be any good, it'll all be thanks to them! ^_^

Emotion

2006-06-19T14:13:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago, I read a book called Life of Pi by Yann Martel. It's a very good book, and I enjoyed it a lot, but what I remember the most about it was what Martel said in his Author's Note. The Author's Note outlines the journey of how he came to write a story about a boy who was lost at sea in the same boat as a Bengal tiger. The journey begins with a failed attempt at writing a novel. This is what he says:

"Unfortunately, the novel sputtered, coughed and died...It's a misery peculiar to would-be writers. Your theme is good, as are your sentences. Your characters are so ruddy with life they practically need birth certificates. The plot you've mapped out for them is grand, simple and gripping. You've done your research, gathering the facts...that will give your story its feel of authenticity. The dialogue zips along, crackling with tension. Really, your story can only be great. But it all adds up to nothing. In spite of the obvious, shining promise of it, there comes a moment when you realize that the whisper that has been pestering you all along from the back of your mind is speaking the flat, awful truth: it won't work. An element is missing, that spark that brings to life a real story... Your story is emotionally dead, that's the crux of it."

After I read that, I wondered if that's reason I haven't been able to write anything resembling a novel to this day--the lack of emotion, or the lack of sustainable emotion. Certainly, you need to have all the right elements, but beneath all that, you need the thing that drives the story--the emotion that compels you to write in the first place. But the question is, do I have that emotion behind my story? I had enough in order to start it, but can I sustain it to the end? It looks like my inner romantic has been revived by watching Escaflowne, so the answer, I hope, is yes.

And then I wonder why I haven't been able to finish or even truly start a novel of my own, one that involves my own characters in my own world, real or imaginary. Fanfiction is pretty easy to write, comparatively speaking, because the infrastructure is already there. You only need to apply the emotion and let events play themselves out. Coming up with an entire framework of characters with virtues and flaws that interact in a world of your making, all the while trying to maintain some sense of realism, is a difficult thing to do. Maybe that's why some authors out there write short passages when the moment strikes them, and eventually gather up all the bits and pieces and create a wonderfully complex and riveting story. I wonder if that may be more my style, since I seem to do pretty well with writing in spurts, as evidenced by my collection of short stories on ff.net.

But when inspiration hits me, I usually don't have paper and pen (or computer) at hand. Or maybe that's just an excuse for laziness and procrastination. I don't remember well enough to know. But thank goodness for blogs, because I'm the kind of writer who thrives on feedback. Not that I need feedback to write, necessarily, but it is nice to hear what other people think and it's encouraging. Most of the time ;) Maybe I'll post some short random passages on here or on my personal blog. Who knows.

The Trouble with Words

2006-06-17T22:07:00.000-05:00

Or maybe more appropriately, The Trouble with Van ;) My sister was rewatching some episodes while I was trying to figure out where to put all my clothes with my limited closet space T_T I'm noticing more and more how much Van says through his actions, and even when he does speak, the words he chooses are usually different from what most people would say.

One of the things that makes Van such a great character is the complexity in the way he communicates (or fails to, in some cases). He turns his back to Hitomi when he asks her to show him how to dowse and only faces her when he says, "Show me how!" Another instance I always think of is the time when his wounds are healed after the repair of Escaflowne. He mistakenly assumes that Allen saved his life, and when Dryden points out that it was actually Hitomi, Van looks at her and simply says, "Hitomi." We all know that he's really saying "Thank you." It's like he speaks a different language from everyone else, one that allows him to save face while conveying his true intent. But one would have to know him well to understand what he's really saying, otherwise what he says might be taken the wrong way.

Three posts in one day....that's a sign of procrastination if I ever saw one! ^^;

At Last!

2006-06-17T12:28:00.000-05:00

Finally, I have finished making anymore changes to the chapters I've already written. Chapters 5-8 are edited and reloaded. Nothing too major, but enough little things to make some difference for anyone who wants to reread it or if they're reading for the first time. Now I can continue working on Chapter 9 again :) I hope to have it done before the end of the month, in all the free time I'll have between settling into my new place and starting my job O_o

Elements of a Story

2006-06-16T23:49:00.000-05:00

Kind of a random post, but I've made some observations of what seems to make a story a good story:

Needs to be compelling. Can be turbulently or quietly so.
Every word must have a purpose.
Description must be detailed but not long-winded, concise without leaving things out.
Similies, metaphors, and analogies should convey the idea effectively, and will often sound poetic enough as a result.
Events can serve a clear purpose. Even superficial occurrences or behavior can develop characters.
An example: Jodi Picoult's My Sister's Keeper. Much of it is comprised of a collection of seemingly unrelated flashbacks that flesh out the characters so that as the story goes on, you are able to understand them better, think what they think, and feel what they feel.
Needs some element of suspense, plot twists, etc.
If the answers to the questions it asks are ambiguous, it is more challenging to tell but also more satisfying for the author and the readers.
Dialogue needs to be believable as well as entertaining.
Let your words speak for themselves. Don't try to impose your own interpretation on the reader.
Leave things open for interpretation! It's more interesting for the reader and more fun for the author ;)

Some pretty basic stuff, but I like to lay it out for myself to look at. Maybe I'll add more later...

Endings and Sequels

2006-06-15T20:02:00.001-05:00

The other day, I thought of an ending for the ending of The Last Night of the World. Let me explain: I’ve always had an ending in mind, but it needed an epilogue to really tie things up. The epilogue I originally had in mind was had everything turn out more or less ok, a feel-good kind of thing. But then I thought of a more powerful and fitting epilogue, one that would probably make everyone hate me, including myself T_T It would also definitely have to be followed up by a sequel or I wouldn’t be satisfied—and neither would the readers.

Now the big question is: should I, or shouldn’t I? Most of me really really wants to write the sadder ending, because it seems more right. But I don’t know if I will have the time to dedicate to writing another long, involved story when I’m not sure if I’ll be able to finish this one within a reasonable period of time :(

However, whichever epilogue I choose to use, the story will have a definitive end. It’s more a matter of how much hope (or lack thereof) it will leave with the reader. But since I’m only halfway through with Last Night (hehe, the abbreviation sounds slightly scandalous!), I’ll cross that bridge when I get there.

Broken Bonds

2006-06-13T23:01:00.000-05:00

Finally, the biggest rewrite of my fic is finished! I gave Broken Bonds (Chapter 4) an almost total makeover. I completely revamped Van’s internal thoughts to suit his personality better. More matter-of-fact and duty oriented. And more denial ^_^ It also gave me the chance to go into more detail about the political goings-on of Gaea and how Van felt about everything that’s happened, from Fanelia to Hitomi to political marriages.

Even Hitomi’s part is a little bit changed, to explore her struggle some more in having to choose between Yutaro and Van. The question of who she will choose is not so important as how she will choose. And the how of it all is something I’m saving for the end ^_^

The changes I made are pretty major, but they don’t affect the main plotline…just the character portrayals and their motivations. Well, not just character portrayals and motivations, because those are what make the love story more complex and real. So in that sense they are pretty important changes.

I like it so much more now. Broken Bonds is now my favorite chapter of this fic ^_^

Rewrites

2006-06-11T22:19:00.000-05:00

Before going any further with Chapter 9, I’ve decided to start rewriting certain parts of the previous chapters. The parts that need rewrites mostly have to do with my portrayal of Van. For me, he is the most difficult character to write about because he says so little compared to the other characters. His emotions come through much more clearly through his actions. So not only can he be difficult to understand, but he can also be a challenge to write about—I’ve never had to think so carefully about body language as I did with him!

I’ve posted the rewrite for Return to Gaea (Chapter 2) and also for Visions of Destruction (Chapter 3). The rewrite of the second half of Return to Gaea is pretty significant, the lovey-dovey scene written mostly from Hitomi’s point of view, and the dynamics are completely different. Van is more Van-like (I hope) and we get a peek into Hitomi’s inner thoughts, which doesn’t happen as nearly as often as I’d like. But it would have been nice to keep the thoughts that Van had in the original version. Maybe I can find a way to include them later. I’ve only made minor changes to Visions of Destruction so it would make more sense following the new and improved Return to Gaea, and there was some cleaning up of word choice here and there.

For now, I’m going to hold off on Chapter 9. I need to rehaul the rest of the fic before I move on, since I don’t think Van acts sufficiently in-character all the time. I need to change those parts to get a better handle on his personality and to build a stronger basis for the story. He is one of the main characters, after all! But thankfully there’s not too much I have to do. I mostly want to change his internal monologue in Broken Bonds (Chapter 4) and do some word-tweaking with the other chapters.

This is what happens when you try to write one chapter a day without anyone to beta-read them first… -__-

Folken Fanel

2006-06-09T22:45:00.000-05:00

How funny...I never thought I'd write an entry about Folken before I wrote one about Van :P

Today, I was thinking about wanting to write about Folken. He's a pretty intriguing character....so mysterious and calculated. What made him betray Fanelia? (On an emotional level?) Why did he believe so strongly in Emperor Dornkirk's ideology of creating a utopia? The methods Zaibach used seemed to go directly against Folken's nature, which is essentially peace-loving and compassionate, which we could see from the way he treated Zongi, Naria, Eriya, and his brother. Even more intriguing is that delving into his character may reveal more about what Van is like. They are very similar in some ways, even though they ended up choosing different paths.

Too bad he died :( :( I'll try to find a way to fit him into the story, I will I will!

Action vs. Drama

2006-06-09T09:22:00.000-05:00

Action scenes are not my favorite thing to write. That's part of the reason why I've been procrastinating a little on the next chapter, which I'm titling "Descent of Madness." I think it's an interesting chapter, and I can sort of picture the action in my head, but fighting and things like that are not really in my realm of interest. I mean, you can't have Escaflowne without some action, but I'm more of a drama person.

I don't think I'm terrible at writing action...but I think the action I write lacks a certain luster that you find in stories written by people who do actually like it. I think I get the point across clearly enough, but then again, I'm a poor judge of my own writing.

I used to think dialogue was one of my stronger points, but I've found that I like writing description more than I thought I did. Because when I wrote Chapter 7 (Palas), it was very dialogue-heavy compared to the rest of the story and I felt like I was going out on limb. It felt kind of scary :P

After rewriting the Prologue and talking some to Jomiel and my sister, I think I need to focus more on character development by focusing on the characters themselves instead of what they do. I tend to leave out internal monologue because I prefer to have people infer the characters' thoughts and emotions from their actions and words, but it's a lofty goal and at this point probably an excuse for laziness O_o I mean, the last time I felt like I was truly in the characters' skins was in the Prologue. And maybe a few scenes here and there. I don't think Van or Hitomi have developed as much as I would have liked them to. Maybe because multi-tasking action and drama is a little difficult for me right now. Once things settle down (i.e., after Descent of Madness), hopefully I will be able to focus on character development some more.

A Writing Blog? What's that?

2006-06-08T21:13:00.000-05:00

This is an idea I got from Jomiel, aka Sharlee on fanfiction.net. This is going to be a place for me to talk about my writing, and discuss writing with other people. In other words, a place for me to vent my thoughts, because goodness knows they need venting. Though it may turn out to be as much gushing over Escaflowne (and Van) as it is about my writing experience O_o

Getting this blog started was an ordeal in itself. Since when did blogger.com become such a pile of molasses? I’m lucky if I can even get this entry posted!

Anyway, the story I’m writing is a fanfiction about what happens to the characters after the end of the Escaflowne TV series. A continuation fic, as they like to say. I named it The Last Night of the World, after a song from Miss Saigon. It’s mainly trying to answer the question of what happens to the love story between Hitomi and Van when they carry on without expecting to see each other again, and are reunited? What do people do when life just happens, and they are stuck between a rock and a hard place?

The latter question is a little ambitious, I’ll admit ^_^ And along the way, some other unexpected questions have popped up. What overarching story does there need to be in order to give the relationships between all the characters more meaning? It’s my belief that no love story can be meaningful or interesting apart from a story that’s larger than the characters themselves. Kind of ironic, since my initial intent was to write a love story, and I started writing without giving much thought to a bigger plot. Thank goodness the bigger plot came to me eventually!

But mostly, I just want to get the relationship between Van and Hitomi right! Apparently I slipped up a few times, especially in the Prologue, which I revamped and reposted today. Check it out, if you haven’t already! ^_^